Prioritize Yourself

It's hard to prioritize yourself when you set unachievable expectations.

Coming from my personal experience, I have always been the type of person to put so much on my plate, and then get frustrated when I would get overwhelmed, and couldn't complete everything.

It ruins your life.

At one point, I had three jobs. THREE. I was also a full time student, trying to balance everything with a social life.

I won't lie and say that I didn't love it, because I did. I loved how I was always busy. I felt like I was exceeding everyone's expectations and making other people proud. But was I making myself proud? I'm not so sure.

I feel like making other people happy has always been my self-care, in the worst way possible. As long as I was making other people proud and impressed, I was living my life the way I should be.

I recently just moved (which explains the lack of writing LOL oops sorry everyone), but even in the couple weeks of being here, I can already tell that my life before wasn't what life should actually be like.

Here, in San Francisco, I have started to prioritize myself. I have days where I stay in, cuddled up in a blanket, watching Bachelor in Paradise because I want to. I have days where I get all dressed up, and go out with friends for karaoke nights, or picnics, because I want to. I even have days where I spend time doing homework, or saying I will do it tomorrow because I want to (once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator).

I had two jobs moving here, one being an online internship, and yesterday I'm happy to say that I've officially put in my two weeks notice. I started to feel guilty that I wanted to live my life here. I started to feel guilty that I wanted to make memories, or work on school, or just take a day to take care of my mental health, and that's not how it should be.

I am still a workaholic, so thank god my other job has a lot of hours, but for the first time in over 3 years, I am happy with just one job (yay me).

ALSO, I want to point out that I am still learning what makes me happy. I still need to work on comparing myself to other people, especially in school. I still need to work on realizing that my life has it's own path, and that I don't need to be like other people to be successful. I don't need to rush the process of growing up if I'm still figuring it all out.

I mean, I just moved here. Like... I physically moved three weeks ago. If I can already figure all of this out in three weeks, then I'm excited to see what happens for the rest of the year.

Put yourself first,

s.k.s